An old and feeble-looking man is welcomed into the chamber and makes his way down the aisle toward the Speaker’s podium. He shakes hands and is greeted warmly by some and jeered and yelled at by others. He walks deliberately, notslowly, as a man who has no real hurry to complete a task may address that task.
He makes his way to the podium and addresses the crowded chamber in an attempt to quiet them and get to the evening’s business, “My fellow Americans.”
The chamber erupts in a cacophony of cheers and boos, sounds emanating from an invisible yet distinct line betweenthose in attendance.
“My fellow Americans, I stand before you to address the concerns some of you have about the state of our greatnation.”
Applause erupts, continues thunderously for a few minutes, and then quiets down. As the sound of clapping begins tosubside a lone female voice is heard yelling, “Liar!”
The old man continues, “In spite of what some of you may believe and are being told by your representatives andsources of information our Economy has never been stronger and unemployment is at a 50-year low.”
More applause from around the chamber and more heckling “Liar!” “Speak the truth!” “Woke Bullshit!!” erupts from mostly a single section on one side of the audience.
the old man appears to be shaken by the heckling jeers. He raises a hand, palm facing the crowd, “let me speak,” hesays, “I brought charts and the data I base my just stated claims on,” he says as the heckling grows louder.
The old man looks around the room, his blank face hides the determination in his eyes. The hecklers notice the blankness but seem to miss the eyes as the taunts continue.
“Sleepy Joe needs a nap!” they yell.
“Look the steroids wore off early!” they sneer.
This continues for several minutes before the old man at the podium begins to speak again.
“I was going to wait until later to bring this up but now seems a better time.”
The crowd settles slightly but the vitriol spewed by some in attendance continues, “America doesn’t want to hear you!” the woman in the white coat yells as the room quiets.
“America doesn’t want to hear me, you say? Well maybe they will want to hear this. Some of you in attendance tonight sure do.”
The room, still rustling, settles slightly as the old man continues.
Addressing a small group in black, seated just in front of him the old man says, “The highest court in our land recently decided that the actions of those with my job shouldn’t face prosecution for the crimes committed while in office, if those crimes were committed as part of the execution of official presidential duties. I disagree but that isn’t my job, my job is to respect the decisions of the court.”
“That’s right,” Someone yells. “He won!” yells another.”
As he continues he seems to be addressing the section of the audience where the heckling is coming from directly.
“The judges selected by my predecessor have limited women’s rights and trans rights, and the ability of governmental agencies to do their jobs, but their most recent ruling that a president cannot be punished for crimes committed while in office was the last straw for America and the last straw for me”
He paused as an uneasy hush begins to settle on the audience, the audience in one section of the chamber to be specific.
“and what I intend tonight is to teach you all, well those that consider this ruling a win anyway, a lesson about a law that the Supreme Court cannot strike down.”
“God’s law!” someone yells but with less energy than previous shouts.
“No not God’s Law. If such a thing exists it doesn’t belong in this chamber or this government because of the Constitution specifically requires a separation between church and state. You know you all could learn a lot by actually reading the Constitution, or maybe taking a Civics class.
“Maybe that will be the next lesson, but that is not the law I want to teach you about tonight. I want to teach you about the law of unforeseen consequences.”
The doors to the chamber slam loudly open and are held in place by men and women in suits. Men and women no oneseemed to notice before.
“What the court and the MAGA right seemed to have forgotten is that this ruling applies to all presidents, not just the onethey like most. And right now, I am president.”
The old man pauses and looks steel-faced and determined around the chamber which falls completely silent for the first time. Faces lose their smiles, but no one takes their eyes off the old man.
“Maybe we should begin with a brief constitutional lesson. As president, I am, amongst other things, the Commander and Chief of the military. This means I don’t need anyone’s approval to send in the National Guard to quash a riot for example. That is a lesson my predecessor could have used on January 6th, 2020, but then again he probably didn’t want to quash that particular riot because he actually thought that riot could help him keep this job.”
A thunderous noise of footsteps is heard as hundreds, perhaps thousands of men and women in military uniforms, steel-faced and holding the weapons of war enter, the chamber and take positions in the aisles along each row of seats.
“That constitution also states that a sitting president must give a State of the Union address once each year, or whenever deemed necessary, to update the citizens of this great nation as to the actual state of things not only going on in the country but in the world and how all of those things may impact them as citizens of this great nation. That is the clause I used to call this State of the Union address tonight.”
The men and women in uniform in unison turn to face the rows where the loudest of hecklers were sitting but are now mostly standing in the chamber. The others stand at the ready in the aisles of the chamber.
“Some of you have spent the past 30 minutes interrupting an elected official in the performance of the constitutionally required, their Constitutionally mandated, duties, which is a Federal Crime and I hereby place you all under arrest.”
With that an uproar of protests and shouted denials erupted in the chamber.
The old man seemingly unphased by the sudden burst of noise, face hardened with purpose, and eyes shining with intent looks around the room for a moment, eyes blazing with determination and face still with purpose for a moment before suddenly softening.
The old man raises his hands to quiet the crowd before him, like a kindly grandfather may comfort a scolded child, “I know, I know no one likes it when their poor decision-making comes back to bite them, but as I said a few minutes ago, this demonstration is about the law of unforeseen consequences and I have an official duty to update the citizens of our great nation. An official duty which you have been trying your best to interrupt. You made your decision and now you must pay the consequences of that decision. Or as my granddaughter likes to put it, you fucked around and now you are about to find out.”
He paused a moment to let his words sink in, but the people he appeared to be talking to were too busy trying to leave the chamber, only to find their egress prevented by the armed military members in the aisles.
“Ladies and gentlemen of the Army National Guard DC Post,” the military members snapped to attention in loud unison, “take ’em.”
With that, the military rushed into the rows loudly announcing they were carrying out a lawfully executed order to arrest and detain the disruptive members of the chamber. People standing in aisles were spun around and placed in handcuffs while those with shocked expressions on their faces and still sitting were lifted from their chairs and placed into handcuffs. All handcuffed members of the chamber were led from the chamber.
It took several minutes, all televised live of course, for all of the disrupters to be removed from the chamber, but when the last was removed the remaining men and women of the National Guard marched out of the chamber. Before exiting the last person, a woman with stars on the collar of her uniform stopped, turned to face the old man, and saluted, before exiting from the chamber herself.
With a smile the Old Man said, “Do you think I have their attention now?” A gentle laughter carries across the crowd in attendance, some members of which now carried looks of grave concern on their faces.
“Some of you may be wondering what about my predecessor? He has already been convicted of 34 felonies but is in the process of appealing those convictions, as is his right. We don’t want to deny him any of his rights, I don’t want to deny him of his rights. However, he also incited a right on January 6, 2020 and if that was an official Presidential act, as he claims it to be, it would either be the crime of Treason which would fall under Federal Criminal Law or the crime of Aiding the Enemy which Falls under the Uniformed Code of Military Justice. Neither of those laws would be covered by the immunity recently granted a president by the Supreme Court in my opinion. Maybe that opinion will be struck down by the court in appeals or trial for example, but I must act and since I don’t have to worry about the consequences of an official act anymore I have made a few decisions. I have decided the actions of the former president constitute a clear a present danger to the United States of America and we. Will. Not. Stand. For. That.”
The crowded chamber, now completely silent, looks on as the old man speaks.
“As of 1300 hours, that’s one pm to those nonmilitary folks, Eastern Standard Time the former president was taken into custody, read his Miranda rights (another bad ruling by the highest court in our land to no longer require the Mirandizing of those arrested) and made aware of the pending charges against him. I was alerted by our military shortly before I entered this chamber that the transport plane safely made it to Cuba and the former president was shown to his new accommodations on the Marine Corps base in Guantanamo Bay where he will wait for his trail to commence, I imagine as swiftly as it is possible to schedule.”
“I would also like to introduce the four new Supreme Court justices, would you please stand and be recognized,” he paused a moment for the applause to quiet down before continuing, “and announce that the house ethics committee has agreed to begin a thorough investigation into the current Supreme Court and the current justices. A special, bipartisan committee has been formed to aid in this investigation and regular reports will be given to myself and the members present in this chamber. Those reports after being reviewed will be made public in as complete and unredacted form as possible. Any justice found to have accepted gifts of money or merchandise, well let’s call them what they are bribes, above the already set legal limit of $50 will be stripped of their seat and immediately replaced, as well as potentially face criminal charges. Of course the rule of law for such investigations will be followed and only those who appear to have broken the laws or ethical guidelines will be formally investigated. Oh and while being formally investigated no justice will be allowed to rule or participate in court proceedings. I’m sure you understand we must restore confidence in the court but more importantly, we must ensure the court is not being influenced by anything or anyone outside of the constitution and the rule of law.”
“With that ladies and gentlemen of this great nation, the from the chamber portion of our address will come to a close. For the remainder of the address, on a repeated scroll the data supporting my earlier statement will be listed, with source citations, along with some other information about how well our great nation is actually doing in the present moment. The scroll will continue, alternating between all the languages in our great nation for a period of 24 hours and on all networks currently holding a federal broadcast license of any kind. Before I finish and we all go home I would like to point out I could have had my predecessor dragged in here and shot, as Treason is an offense with the death penalty, and if it turned out he hadn’t committed Treason I could have made a public apology but never held criminally liable for murder. I chose not to soil the floor of this great chamber with such an absurdity to conduct my lesson. I also could have revoked the broadcast license of several entertainment shows and networks which insist on referring to themselves as news when they are little more than right-wing propaganda. I thought it best to let these twisters of truth continue to spew the vitriol because I know the American people are smarter than that and when presented with actual facts America always does the right thing. There may be other lessons in the very near future, some of you will undoubtedly not like them and I do regret that but as the kids say, it is what it is.”
“Thank you and your understanding of a higher power, or no higher power, favor you and the United States of America. Happy Independence Day everyone!”
The screen fades to black against a thunderous applauding chamber and a scroll begins to move up the screen with the data points and citations.
I wrote this short story after the announcement of the Supreme Court ruling. It was literally my first reaction. I wrote it quick, between patients, and did a minimal amount of editing just now because I wanted to post it today and frankly I have other things to do today. I hope you enjoyed it and for those who disagree with it or my political leanings, remember a court’s decision affects everyone and not just the people you want it to.
Happy Independence Day America. Seriously, we can do better.