The problem with capacity

I sometimes think my sessions, to an outside observer, would have the look and feel of a train coming off the rails. I will draw from any source if I think it will help a patient realize something important about themselves. Often that source will bring a patient to a silent place while they mull over why I said what I just said. Honestly I have no prior plans or intentions to say anything in particular and will often criticize myself for talking too much in a session. Even psychologists have self doubt.

A quote I use with sone regularity comes from the cartoon Shrek. Come to think of it a lot of my go to Jen’s come from cartoons. I should probably consider that sometime.

Anyway, Shrek. In the scene Shrek and Donkey are going to see Lord Farquat or maybe it was in Shrek 2 (was Puss in Boots in the scene?) that isn’t the important bit. What is important is Donkey is all worked up about his rights and says “Nobody has told me I have the right to remain silent,” and Shrek says “You have the right to remain silent Donkey. What you lack is the capacity.”

What Shrek doesn’t understand is that the capacity for change is always present but what is often lacking is the recognition of that capacity. What donkey is lacking is the awareness of self to recognize the ability to remain silent is also present.

Put another way Donkey wants to change but doesn’t know how and is waiting for someone else to give him instruction or maybe even permission to do so. He doesn’t need anyone’s permission any neither do you.

Do you have something about you that you would like to change? Do you find yourself in a situation you want to change but are waiting for someone else to tell you how or give you permission to do so?

Well you don’t have to do that and maybe your life would be better if you stopped living like you did.

Pick a direction, make a choice, get up and go. It really is that simple. Of course it is also that difficult. What if you’ve never made a decision or worse you were raised to believe you can’t make decisions, not good ones anyway. That does make changing a little more complicated but it doesn’t have to.

What do you think the result would be on you and your life if you gave yourself permission to be wrong? Simply made choice and right or wrong be damned?

What is the worse that could happen is you would have to make another choice down the road. Potentially anyway. And what’s so bad about that? You may even discover that making choices is fun.

You may even discover you’re good at making choices, and doesn’t that sound, I don’t know, good?

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